Family FAQ: Why we live in a 1,300 square foot house

I’ve read a lot about having a life mission statement, a family mission statement, etc.

Lately though, I’ve felt a more pressing need for me as a person and us as a family is to write an FAQ (frequently asked questions). I often find myself struggling with decisions, and trying to sift through the what’s/why’s/how’s/when’s of major moments and this is a way to face down who I am and who we are.

My ultimate hope is that it will reinforce the areas we are doing right and well, and shed light on areas that need tweaking.

An FAQ is a simple but effective way to make sure you know who you are and can explain it well to the people who ask.

So, here we go…

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Chambers Family FAQ: Question 1

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Sometime in May of this year, our sixth child will arrive. We’re naming him Rhys, and each day we get more excited/nervous/expectant…and at times overwhelmed.

Who wouldn’t? Six kids?!

I’ve come to loathe the periodic backhanded question, “You know how that happens right?”

Yes. Yes, I do. Jerk.

Anywho.

But one of the biggest questions people have when they get to know us a little bit is this:

“So, you’re going to have six kids, and you live in a 1,300 square foot house?! How does that work?”

Sometimes it’s quickly followed by, “Are you crazy?”

Full disclosure: where we live now isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes it feels cramped. We have to be really creative with space (an attribute we’re still on a major learning curve with.)

It really does feel crazy sometimes.

But…

For this season, we believe we’re in the house we’re supposed to be in. All three bedrooms, one bathroom of it.

You see, last year, we finished paying off the final amounts on what started out as around $30,000 in debt. On a missionary salary. (Missionary salary = not much to begin with…missionary salary with lots of kids = less.)

That’s right. No more credit cards, no more debt for Christmas, vacation, no car payments. It’s incredible. The only payment we make now is for our mortgage.

We attempted several times to move over the past 18 months.

To Nashville…then it fell through.

To an amazing house in our town…then it fell through.

To ANOTHER amazing house in our town…then it fell through.

That was really painful and frustrating. We begged God to open something, anything up for us. But sometime over the past few months, something changed in us. While we were constantly looking for something better, we had neglected the home we did have. We were discontent. It made every day so stressful.

The constant wondering of, “When is something going to work out? Why is this happening?”

So, we simply came a decision: we weren’t going to look anymore. We were going to stop fighting and be content. Even if people thought it was stupid. Even if we looked crazy. Now we’re on a mission to create a beautiful home to welcome new baby Rhys into the world. He doesn’t need to be born into a home of discontent.

I want Chambers baby six to be born into a family that isn’t always looking for what’s next or better, but instead a family who is at peace with and grateful for right now.

In Romans 13.8, Paul absolutely nails it when he says, “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.”

Do we still want a larger house someday? You bet your sweet whirlpool tub we do. (Or sweet claw foot tub if you ask my wife.)

But today, we live in the one we have, and we desire to live there well.

I don’t want any more debt we can’t afford, be it financial or relational.

We’re surrounded by plenty of friends who have lots of things we’d love to have, but that’s their story, this is ours.

May we tell an incredible story with the way we live, especially in the seasons when not everything is as we wish it to be.

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“Nothing is yet in its true form.” // CS Lewis

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What do you think about the idea of a personal or family FAQ?

Lent day 8: a prayer

“Teach us, Lord Jesus, not to fear the accusations of the enemy, but to trust in your victory at all times.” // NT Wright

Lent day 7: a prayer

“Almighty God, you called Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and the Twelve; and, through Jesus, you called the twelve apostles. Call us afresh today; name us once more to carry forward your purposes in the world.” // NT Wright

Two words that could change your sex life…

It’s been claimed that the words “I’m sorry” are the most difficult to utter.

But there are two other words I think may be more difficult…

“Thank you.”

I’m notoriously (at least in my own mind) ungrateful. As often as I remind my children, “did you say thank you?”, I forget myself.

I forget neglect to write thank you cards.

I neglect to thank my spouse for washing my socks for the upteenth time.

I neglect to thank my kids for their help carrying in the groceries.

I neglect to thank my server for an incredible job. (And no, a huge “thank you” does not replace a good tip.)

I neglect to thank my God for the way He fills the landscape of my life with so many gracious moments I’m accustomed to overlooking.

But those two words are powerful. Just like saying, “I’m sorry”, they can break down walls of hurt, frustration, and loneliness. They can remind us of why we do what we do, and why we should do it well. When someone tells me “thank you”, it helps me look forward to next time.

Gratefulness is never wasted. On anyone. Even gratefulness for the most seemingly insignificant gestures can carry enormous momentum.

When was the last time you called your spouse, close friends, children, parents and simply said, “thank you”? Just because? (Or, maybe even someone you don’t get along with very well…?)

When was the last time you leaned over to your spouse after sex and said, “thank you”? (Heck, they may be so thrilled to hear it, you might inadvertently instigate round two!)

When was the last time you said “thank you” to your children for unloading the dishwasher without complaining? (You might also need to couple that “thank you” with a trip to the ice cream shop).

When was the last time you thanked _______________? (You fill in that one).

We all know of people around us who could use words of gratefulness.

Gratitude isn’t about guilt or relational debt, it’s about making light of how much the people around us are worth. When we take moments and people for granted, it’s as if we’re carrying around a billboard that shouts, “I WAS ENTITLED TO WHAT JUST HAPPENED ANYWAY!”

No you weren’t. Ever.

Perhaps more than you deserved whatever incredible moment you just experienced, the person at the other end deserves to be thanked.

Today, shatter every “thank you” record you’ve ever set before. People might think you’re on your way out…and you are…eventually, so make every moment a grateful one.

Oh…and by the way, THANK YOU for reading this post.

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“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.” // Meister Eckhart

Lent day 6: a prayer

“Help us, gracious Lord, to be wise in our disciplines, to celebrate your new life and to put to death all that detracts from it.” // NT Wright