One of the most important things we don’t have

The whole Chambers Village crew!

I’m not exactly sure how it happened.

Perhaps it was gradual…like slowly bringing water to boil.

All I know is that one day, we realized we were different.

Really different.

Strange even.

Weird.

Not normal.

When my wife, Jordana was expecting our twins a couple years ago, we were teetering on the possibility of early labor, and I remember telling our family doctor and his wife (who are friends of ours) that sometimes I wish we could just fit into a category…even for a little while. They told me later they couldn’t believe those words had come out of my mouth.

Maybe you understand what I’m talking about.

Somehow, our family doesn’t ever seem to fit…no matter where we go or what we do.

In fact, at times the judgement of people who don’t like the how/what/why/where’s of our life is so brutal, it can throw us off for weeks. (These experiences literally drain the life out of everything.) Afterwards people usually try to explain that they “mean well”, but to us it simply comes across as “mean”.

I don’t share that for your pity, this is the life we’re called to. We don’t know how to do anything else. We recognize how nuts we must look, but abandoning this would be abandoning who we were created to be.

Don’t get me wrong, in the midst of the journey we’ve screwed up a lot…skinned our knees and busted our noses along the roads of this life many times. This isn’t about us needing to be held higher than anyone else…there are moments when we’ve barely figured out the next step before it’s time to go.

But, one thing I’m 100% certain of heading into 2012 is this: we need community.

For me to be who I’m called to be as man, non-profit director, husband and father…I need community.

For my marriage to weather dark days and shine as long as we both shall live…we need community.

For Jordana and I to be able to love and parent our children (or villagers as we’ve come to call them) as the precious gifts they are…we need community.

For us to be who we’re called to be as a family…we need community.

So often people throw opinions at us like hunting spears, thinking we’ll receive them like a bouquet of roses, but the challenge for 99% of them is they’re not in community with us.

We might attend church together, or know each other from around town, but if you want to be able to speak into our lives…we need to trust you…know that we are safe with you…that you know our hearts and we know yours.

It’s a two-way street. We’re called to pour ourselves into others the way we need them to pour into us.

Spurring each other on…encouraging each other…

Bearing burdens (none of us will ever run out of burdens to share)…

Rejoicing…mourning…fighting…praying…pressing on…

Together.

A solid community has been a challenge for our family for many years now, and I think it’s partly to do with two reasons:

1. It’s difficult for some to comfortably embrace our family (5 kids…humanitarians…gluten free…special needs child…we’re complicated…)
2. We shy away when people get too close (after you’ve been burned a few times, this becomes a habitual response)

But my heart for 2012 is for us reconnect with community again. We need it like a desert needs water. And so do you…and so do the people around you.

Will you commit with me to seek community for yourself and your family (if you have one?)

Will you commit with me to being community for someone else? I promise there are people near you like us who would give anything to be in community with you.

You may never know the life-restoring impact you’ve had…but my gut feeling is, if you pour yourself into someone else, the life-restoring impact will be unmistakable.

Community is never easy, but it’s a huge part of us becoming who God has designed us to be. So let’s give ourselves to each other and see the life God creates our of our vulnerability.

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“Community is first of all a quality of the heart. It grows from the spiritual knowledge that we are alive not for ourselves but for one another. Community is the fruit of our capacity to make the interests of others more important than our own. The question, therefore, is not “How can we make community?” but “How can we develop and nurture giving hearts?” // Henri Nouwen

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How do you live in community? I’d love to read your thoughts…

And a massive THANK YOU to those who walk with us on this crazy journey…

The Friday Community of Stopbeingsoserious

So…if you’re like me, you’re coming to the end of a doozy of a week…getting ready to launch into a full weekend and then another packed week next week. In fact, my wife has challenged me to regulate my stress level multiple times this week. And she’s right.

When that happens, I’ll usually lock up anything frivolous until “I have time for it later…after all the serious, grown-up work is finished.”

But…

Truth is, we NEED the frivolous. We need joy. We need laughter. And we need to share those things with the people around us.

So…

Here are some of my more favorite links / vids / songs from the last couple weeks.

Make yourself some space in the cluttered room of your “to-do” list, and check them out…then share the ones you like (heck…share ANYTHING that can could bring joy to someone else.)

Tell stress to take a time out.

Enjoy.

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“All joy…emphasizes our pilgrim status; always reminds, beckons, awakens desire. Our best havings are wantings.” // CS Lewis

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1. MUSIC

Gungor // NEEDTOBREATHE // The Hawk In Paris // Tangled // Benny Bennassi

2. LINKS

What dancing looks like to me // Dexter. World’s most endearing serial killer.

This is why I’m broke // greatest. products. ever.

Picture of the first openly gay Marine // ok…I totally laughed at this

“Did you mean to do that?” // some friends of mine taking shooting lessons

Pure joy // I’d like a day where all I did was smile like this…with my camel

How Christian Denominations See Each Other // truth is…enlightening.

The epic sneeze // I’m pretty sure I’d react just like this little girl

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I hope you enjoyed these links and found some things to share…

So…anything to share with me? I’d love to see and share!

If you’ve decided to stay in the boat…

In our community, there’s sort of a general consensus and understanding that we, The Chambers Family™, are crazy.

We have five kids ages 8 to 2 (who we refer to as the villagers), we raise support for our salary (in a recession), we’re working to champion causes that don’t get much airplay (because they make people uncomfortable), and we don’t really do many things the “normal” way (whatever that is).

We’re sort of used to conversations frequently beginning by the other person cocking their head to the side and through a confused look on their faces, asking, “So, I heard you guys were preparing to ___________________ …. is that true? Because…wow….I mean just…wow.”

It feels a little overly-spiritual to say we’re water walkers like Peter (even though we do feel very much out of the boat all the time), so I’ll just call us gypsies…with a purpose.

We live the Purpose-Driven Gypsy Life (I don’t think Rick Warren has written that version yet).

What’s our purpose?

To live in such way that it leaves people without an excuse to not do something with their lives.

Notice I didn’t say we live in such a way as to make people feel guilty if they don’t do things the way we do them.

There’s a HUGE difference between those last two statements.

Here’s the reality:

1. Not everyone gets out of the boat
2. That’s ok

How so?

Well, I wrote last week that walking on water isn’t a test, it’s an invitation. However, Peter was the only one who hopped overboard.

Eleven guys stayed behind.

Why?

Because there was still much to do in the boat to make sure it didn’t sink in the storm.

The only reason Jesus was walking to them on the water was because they were late to pick him up after his prayer meeting…here’s a key, easy to completely miss, phrase from the story:

From Matthew 14: “…When evening came, [Jesus] was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them.”

The wind was against them. Holding them back from getting to Jesus. So Jesus came to them instead.

Our family has decided we’re supposed to get out of the boat, but this doesn’t mean everyone has to.

In fact, we need people to stay in the boat. Not everyone needs to jump out…some need to stay behind.

When the skies are dark, the storms are strong and the wind is against us, we need you. We need you to keep the boat afloat. Keeping the boat from sinking is just as important as walking on water.

But, if you decide to stay in the boat, make sure you do your job. Keep a watchful eye on the people who’ve jumped out…care for the people around you who are also working to keep the boat from capsizing. Staying isn’t license to be lazy or complacent. We’re in a community, and we desperately need each other.

I realize this is quite a different take on this oft quoted story, but when I see that eleven disciples stayed behind, it’s the only conclusion I can immediately draw.

To those who accept the invitation to leap overboard…keep your eyes on Jesus, and never think less of those who don’t follow you, because you need them to back you up.

To those who’ve decided to stay in the boat (even just for now)…cheer loudly, care deeply, and work tirelessly to keep the boat on top of the water.

The call to walk on water is just as compelling as the call to stay behind. How we live out our calling is what matters the most.

I’ve created a monster

So my wife has been in Haiti for nearly a week and I’ve been holding down the fort with our five villagers (8 and under) at home.

In the midst of being completely starved of any adult conversation, I received a text message from her today that didn’t surprise me a bit, but also launched one phrase into the orbit of my mind:

“I’ve created a monster.”

One of the highest priorities my organization, SafeWorld, has right now is maternal health…which is a critical area of need, and I wager it has significant effects on every other major humanitarian issue. But, that’s a topic for another day…

Jordana’s text message simply said she wants to be a midwife.

As I said, I wasn’t surprised. We’ve talked about it at great length, all of our children have been born at home (including one I actually delivered because our midwife was late…you’ll read about that next week), and she’s always loved everything about pregnancy / labor / delivery. (Weirdo).

And, I sent her down to interact with some friends in Haiti who are running an amazing maternity center. Brilliant. Now I suppose she’ll want to bring her dream to life…to…help people.

We’ll jokingly say things like “I’ve created a monster” when we know we’ve played a role in awakening something in someone else.

Typically we use that line to mask our annoyance. But for me, it’s begun to mean something different. I almost feel like Colin Clive yelling “It’s alive!” in the 1931 version of Frankenstein.

It’s good to be alive…it’s good to help bring things to life, especially the passions and dreams of someone you love greatly.

While we’re alive is the only time we have to turn passions into tangibility.

I don’t know about you, but I always give myself plenty of freedom to chase dreams, fully expecting my family to tag along for the ride.

My wife, Jordana, has been consistently faithful, supportive, and encouraging…even when my pursuit hits a wall and we must change direction. But for some reason, when she lights the fuse of one of her dreams, I get nervous…I mean…if she sees this through, it could really affect me (which is code for “I may have to give something up and I don’t want to, so she should probably hold off for a while”).

It’s scary when you hear things like, “I think I’d like to go back to school” … “What do you think about adoption?” … “What if we sold everything and moved to a different country?”

Each of us is designed with longings that, if nurtured, will change this earth. So, when your spouse, friend, family member, comes to you with those expectant eyes: don’t ever ever suffocate their desires.

Few things are as convicting or gut-wrenching as watching the light go out because you assassinated someone’s yearning. I say this because it’s happened to me, and I’ve done it to Jordana before. I’ve seen the light go out…but now it’s back…and this time, I’m ready.

Be a listener…be a question asker…give them room to fail…but never be a dream killer.

Hold the door for them as they step out…be a red carpet unraveler (new word?), then cheer the loudest as you walk the road with them. You aren’t in charge of the timeframe of their dream, but you have huge impact on the quality of its life. Their dream might even look completely different in the end than it sounded in the beginning, but they need to know that you will not.

And yes, it will cramp your world a bit. It might even change everything.

Remember, you are your spouse’s first community. Their safe haven is with you, and together your refuge is in Christ. 

Frederick Buechner says, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

The world has a deep hunger for something that makes someone else deeply glad…and they need you to help bring it to life. Even if you aren’t married, you still play a vital role for those in your community.

Our window in the grand timeline is short. Don’t put it off any longer.

I’ve decided I like creating monsters…especially the ones that will change the world.

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“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” // Ephesians 2:10

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Have you ever suffocated a dream of your spouse or someone else?

The day I broke the bank

There are many trends from the 1980s that we love and hate.

Leg warmers…Schoolhouse Rock…teased hair…Smurfs…slap bracelets…Jelly shoes…Atari…Trapper Keepers…Cabbage Patch Kids…Teddy Ruxpin…(may the awkward memories wash over you like a flood).

But before I learned how to overuse the word “psyche!” (for you youngsters, today’s equivalent of “psyche” would be “bro”), and somewhere around the age of four, my parents kept approximately a million pennies in a clear-glass Snoopy shaped bank. (It may only have been a hundred pennies…don’t judge me, it’s a memory from when I was four.)

One morning while my mother was occupied with her PBS aerobics workout, I concocted a plan to make some of those pennies mine.

I found my dad’s hammer and went to work.

For any four-year-olds reading this and wanting to learn from my mistakes, the one regret I have is that I forgot how loud glass was when it shattered.

My mother sprinted into the dining room and immediately went into rescue mode.

Then, she noticed something…

“What’s in your hand?” She knelt down next to me.

I just stared at her and clenched my little fist shut as tightly as I could.

“Show mommy what’s in your hand.”

I don’t remember exactly, but I think at that point I said something brilliant, like, “There’s nothing in my hand…I just want to keep it closed.”

She took my arm and slowly peeled back my fingers…and there it was. Blood. I was cut. I was hurt. And I didn’t want anyone to know.

Fortunately, all it took to repair me was a quick trip to the pediatrician, a Scooby-Doo bandaid and a lollipop.

But…

What strikes me as I think back on this is how young we are when we discover how to hide our hurts.

My fear was that I would get into more trouble if my mom found out. I associated my lingering hurt with the consequences of breaking the bank.

Instead, my mom picked me up out of the huge mess I had made and carried me to the place where I could get help and healing.

Today…all over this world…are people sitting in the middle of messes with clenched fists. Hoping no one (especially God) asks them to open their hands and show their cuts.

Reality is, the mess can’t be cleaned up as long as we’re still in it, and our hurts can’t be healed if no one knows about them. Hiding only makes it worse. Time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds…especially the ones we won’t let go of.

Jesus came for the broken. He came for the sick. The stained. The mess-makers.

Maybe you’re one of those people.

Maybe you know one of those people.

Either way, it’s time for rescue to begin.

There isn’t more punishment waiting for you as a result of your hurts…but there is hope.

And hope starts with opening your hand.

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The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. // Isaiah 61

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If you’re struggling with hurt today…please email me…I’d love to encourage you!