The lazy man’s version of lying

I dated a girl for a (very) short time in high school who was what I’d affectionately like to call, a “hugger”. No kissing allowed, but let’s hug for 30 minutes and see if our raging hormones can stand it.

Show me a relationship where all they do is hug, and I’ll show you a relationship that will last about a month.

(Because that’s how long we lasted…and not because we didn’t kiss, but…seriously, how awkward is a 30 minute hug on a playground?!).

Anywho…

One day after school we went by her place so she could change clothes and then we’d planned to grab coffee. What I didn’t know (because she didn’t want to tell me) was that she had arranged for her dad to be at the house when we arrived so he could “meet me”, “get to know me”, etc.

I had heard all the jokes about dads telling their daughter’s boyfriends about gun collections and such, but didn’t realize people actually did that until I met her dad. And we didn’t just talk about guns, we also discussed (ad nauseum)  his expertise in Kung-fu.

It. Was. Awesome.

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A couple years later, a similar situation occurred. At a friend’s birthday party I reconnected with a girl I hadn’t seen in a while. Our families had been friends, and we decided to go catch up one evening. I arrived to pick her up, and much to my surprise, her entire family was waiting for me in the living room.

As a rule, her dad explained to me, before any of their daughters are allowed to begin a dating relationship, the guy must first go through a family interview. It only took an hour (for the love), and then we were on our awkward, merry way.

Are you kidding me?!

The issue wasn’t the family interview that bothered me…I thought we were going out to catch up, she thought we were beginning a relationship.

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Last month, we had our roof replaced as a result of some huge hail storms earlier in the year. We hired a company, they did a great job, I wrote the check and that was that. Right?

Then his week I got a voicemail from the same company that said, “Hello, Mr. Chambers, this is ________ Roofing. A while back we did an estimate on your house and were wondering if you’d still like us to replace your roof. Please let us know!”

What?!

The president of the company had even taken my last payment in person, how could they have missed that?

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In all the years I’ve been conversing with people, I’ve never heard anyone say, “I’m really glad we miscommunicated on that…things really worked out well”, or “Thanks so much for not informing me completely!”

Yet, we still fumble on communication all the time, and it’s easy to do…

…but I’m saving them frustration…

…but I’m protecting them from getting hurt…

…if they know the whole story, they won’t be interested anymore…

…I assumed they already knew…

Often I’ll under-communicate as a way to save my own tail, but it never works out that way.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s just a lazy man’s version of lying.

Dave Ramsey puts such a high premium on communication, that he actually practices “over-communicating” with his team, just to avoid situations like I described above.

Don’t wait for a major breakdown to finally say, “oh yeah…about that…see, what had happened was…” Just communicate now.

And remember that it’s not simply about WHAT you communicate, but HOW you communicate.

Information without consideration is just noise.

Communicate well.

Win a signed copy of EntreLeadership by Dave Ramsey!

**UPDATE** // I will have the video of us drawing the winner up sometime Wednesday…sorry…I’m participating in the Catalyst conference and have several things happening this morning. But…it shall be up soon!

 

Today I’m giving away a signed copy of Dave Ramsey’s brand new book, EntreLeadership!

I’ve had the amazing privilege of spending quite a bit of time with Dave and his team over the past 18 months or so, and I’m constantly blown away. It’s not often that you find a group of people who really live what they believe.

Dave is an incredible example of how to lead with the utmost excellence and still have a ton of fun along the way. He truly embodies the mantra of living like no one else.

This isn’t a book written from theory…rather, every word was forged in tried and true experience. To me, that’s what makes this book invaluable. (And that’s why I have a copy on my shelf as well.)

So, today, I’d honored to give away a signed copy of his new book.

Here’s how you can have a chance to win (you must do both for your name to be entered!):

1. Repost the link to this contest on Twtter, Facebook, your own blog, Google+, etc

2. Post your favorite quote about leadership in the comments section below.

I’ll leave the contest open to new entries until 10pm EST Tuesday, October 4…so you have plenty of time to enter! Once the contest closes, I’ll film someone awesome (and yet to be named) drawing the winner at random!

I can’t wait to read your quotes!

Here we go!

My bookshelf // My playlist

Here’s what’s currently on my bookshelf…and playing on my ipod…

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I’d love to know what you’re reading and listening to…please share!

Win a ticket to the Quitter conference with Jon Acuff!

So, my buddy Jon Acuff is hosting an incredible event, and I’m giving someone a chance to go FOR FREE!

First…click here to see what the conference is all about…

Like I said…pretty incredible.

Now…

Here’s how to have a chance to win:

1. Subscribe to my blog

2. Retweet / Share / Facebook / Google+ this post to your friends and followers

3. Write a comment under this post with your “I’m…but” story (you know, the one where you say something like, “I’m a teacher but I want to be a surgeon…”.) Tell me about your dream…tell me your story.

4. My team will go through the comments and choose the top 3 stories (who also completed the first 2 steps).

First place will get a free ticket to the event.

Second and third place will get a free signed copy of Jon’s book, Quitter.

I will announce the winners Sunday night.

So, there we go! It’s going to be an amazing day, and besides Jon, you’ll also get to hear from Jon’s wife, Jenny,  Ben Arment of Dream Year and Bryan Allain! (I will also be there helping out and would love to meet you!)

Don’t miss this!

Ok people…tell your story…can’t wait to read them!